normalement en bas il devrai y avoir un lien pour télécharger le jeu mais je ne l'ai pas comment je fais ?
Valentyne Stories Necromancy
A downloadable game
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« Magic is a gift, given to only a few chosen ones in the world. Be it the heir of a rich family or the offspring of the least good for nothing, every son able to use magic is promised to a great future. If he's prone to use his gift for the kingdom, his name will be known in Arcan's History, bringing honor and glory even to his first ancestors. »
After hearing these quite sententious words, Rave left his comfortable town to become a great Mage. New to the Academy, which exists to teach the magic elite, the young man came to learn, to become « someone », to make his family proud. Improfinv himself and avoiding being scolded by his teachers should have been his only concerns for the next three years. Should have. Unluckily, Rave happens to be in a bad place, at the worst time.
From the student sleeping in the bed next to his to the guard watching over him, everyone is tense in the school. Something is coming, something that will most likely change their whole world, and everyone has a part to play.
Rave will have to discover what's going on, choose who to side with... and who to stand against.
- The demo is ~36k words
- 15 backgrounds and 9 CGs
About full game, it will be much longer.
- At least 500k words
- Full game will have 5 routes
- Multiple endings (5 bad, 5 neutral, 5 good and a true ending)
- 120+ CGs
- 40+ unique backgrounds
- A Journal updated with the main character's knowledge
When the game will be released?
We're aiming for a end of 2020 release with the first three routes. Then, in 2021 the 2 remaining routes will be added with multiple updates.
Are you crowdfunding your game?
The Kickstarter took place on July 1st to July 31st and was successful! Thank you very much everyone!
What is the game's rating?
The game is rated R-16 for violence and gore. There will be a R-18 optional patch as well.
Which languages your game is available?
We have French and English languages available. Our translator is a close friend which is not a native English speaker, so the demo may have mistakes we could not see as 100% French team. If the game is funded, we will recruit a native translator, thank you for your understanding!
Project Lead and Developper: Nyanshua
CG arts, Backgrounds, Sprites and GUI: Wanini
Demo's French proofreading and English translation: Styria
Demo's English proofreading: Ariachiba
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This game is really great ! I play the demo several times and each time, it's greater ! The drawing style is very beautiful, the writing perfect and the characters are so adorable ! The CGI are really beautiful ! I love them ! The team can be proud of themselves, it's a wonderful game !
Ce jeu est vraiment génial, je l'ai adoré ! La démo est vraiment parfaite, je l'ai faite plusieurs fois pour débloquer un peu tous les persos et les illustrations. L'écriture est vraiment excellente et donne envie de lire ! (parfois je trouve que dans les otome game, l'écriture laisse à désirer mais pas dans celui-ci !) La scénariste a vraiment du talent ! Et elle n'est pas la seule, le reste de l'équipe est génial aussi ! Les dessins sont vraiment superbes, les décors, les designs des personnages, les illustrations ! Je suis vraiment enthousiaste de ce projet !
Au niveau des personnages, on a le choix, même si on ne voit bien que trois des prétendants possibles. Il y a un peu tous les types, mais ils sont tous bien écrits et équilibrés, sans se prendre au piège d'un cliché désuet. J'ai une préférence pour un d'entre eux (Hydounet ♥) mais tous ont l'air très intéressants, avec une personnalité bien à eux, et une histoire qui sera prenante !
L'histoire, l'univers, le scénario, ont l'air vraiment génial aussi, de ce qu'on voit dans la démo, ainsi que des détails donnés sur le facebook et le KS. On a un univers médiéval sombre, horrifique et bien pensé. On sent qu'il a été longtemps travaillé, il est cohérent et riche, avec des jeux de pouvoirs, des relations entre les différents groupes en présence.
Bref, on sent que la team a mis de l'amour, de la passion et du temps dans son jeu, et ça fait vraiment plaisir ! Je leur souhaite toute la réussite possible, parce qu'elles le méritent !
Merci encore pour ton gentil commentaire !
On fera de notre mieux pour ce qui nous reste à faire !
Just wanted to say i've played the demo just now and this is one of the best BL pc game I have played. The drawing style is so beautiful and I really like the storyline and the music :D so just know you guys have done yourself proud by producing such a wonderful game. I can't wait to play the full game!
Is the full game available for windows too D:?
Je ne peu malheureusement vraiment pas participer au kickstarter mais lorsque le jeu sortira je devrais pouvoir l'acheter.
Félicitations pour avoir été au-delà de votre objectif !
Merci beaucoup, même si tu n'as pas pu participer au Kickstarter ça nous fait super plaisir !
comment on fais pour télécharger la démo ?
j'ai encore esseiller mais sa me marque anuler ou interdit
Est-ce que tu as un compte administrateur sur ton PC ?
Si oui, il faut peut-être que tu désactives ton anti-virus juste le temps de télécharger et d'ouvrir la démo et de le mettre en exception, c'est possible que ce soit celui-ci qui empêche que le téléchargement soit mené à bien !
bonjour j'aiun petit probleme car je n'arrive pas a télécharger la démos vous pouver m'aider ?
Moi non plus je n'y arrive pas...
Ca arrive quand la connection internet est lente, est-ce que tu as essayé de la re-télécharger ?
Bonjour ! Je voudrais savoir quel prix aura la version finale ? J'ai un peu peur de ne pas pouvoir y jouer et ça me rend triste, mais sinon je serais quand même ravie de vous aider mais là encore je ne peux pas... Vous avez prévu d'ouvrir un Utip ? Je serais ravie de vous aider de cette manière.
Sinon j'ai adoré la démo, je me suis amusée à prendre toutes les illustations et voir ma collocation avec les 3 garçons :
J'adorais déjà Kary dès le départ alors partager sa chambre était un plaisir surtout pour son humour parfois un peu déplacé. x)
Pour Hyde je ne savais pas trop à quoi m'attendre et je l'ai trouvé adorable et simple ce qui m'a beaucoup plus.
Renan était celui qui me plaisait le moins au début mais j'ai changé d'avis par la suite car le fait qu'il soit petit et chiant le rend trop mignon quand il perd ses moyens. :3
En ce qui concerne les 2 autres :
Fenrir, comme avec ma première impression sur Hyde je ne sais pas trop quoi en pensais, je l'aime bien pour le moment à voir par la suite. ^^
Ilyes... Sûrement mon préféré et je ne sais même pas pourquoi, il a l'air triste, à chaque fois que Rave arrive à le faire sourire ça me fait plaisir et je souris aussi, sans savoir pourquoi... Je me suis facilement attachée à lui et si je peux me permettre d'acheter le jeu l'attente de sa route va être très longue pour moi.
Toutes mes escuses si j'ai fais des fautes d'orthographes, ce n'est malheureusement pas mon fort.
Bonjour ! Nous n'avons pas de compte Utip pour le moment ! Quant au prix du jeu, sur Kickstarter il est fixé à 35€ et son prix augmentera au moment de la sortie du jeu (dépendant de la plateforme où il sera).
On est en tout cas ravies que la démo t'aie plu ! Et merci pour ta review détaillée, ça nous fait très plaisir !
Will it be available on mobile phones?
Il y aura une version mobile ?
I really hope this game is fully funded I just wish the campaign was longer to give it more time for people to raise money so it gets fully funded if that makes sense (sorry for bad grammar)
Hi! Thank you very much for the concern, the crowdfunding campaign is not finished so let's cross our fingers!
Just created an account to write this. This game was ACTUALLY AMAZING! The story was great,character design was great.Everything was great! I can't wait for the full version.And i beg you please make the full version free because soooo much people will want to play this great game and if they can't afford it they will be sad.
Also i want to ask this is Ilyes route possible?
The full game is not free - however I think they said the full version will be cheaper if you pick any tier on the Kickstarter with the game key (don't quote me on this). And if the KS isn't funded there will be no foreseeable English translation.
The Ilyes Route does exist, but won't be coming out until 2021. The student routes come in 2020. (This split is to give the devs more time to complete the Fenrir and Ilyes routes and give us some content early).
Hi, thank you very much for your comment, we are really pleased you liked the demo!
About the game's availability, we have a team to make live behind and cannot afford to make the full game free.
About Ilyes, a route is planned for him. If the Kickstarter is funded, the first three routes (Kary, Renan and Hyde) only will be available. Ilyes and Fenrir will be available later as updates!
I really love this game so far!! I'm a bit worried, though, I was looking at the Kickstarter and it's only about 50% completed...what will happen if the goal isn't reached? Will the game not be made? :(
If the goal isn't reached then there will be no English translation. The devs have said they will certainly complete the game though, no matter how long it takes, but only in French. So... be ready to pop out a translator if it's not funded. Or learn French. XDD
Hi! Thank you very much for liking your game!
The Kickstarter is not finished yet, so we aren't thinking of this for now and concentrating our energy on the campaign promotion. If it happens, we will make an update and tell you about the future of the project!
just played the game, i really love it ! its so pretty and although there are some errors in grammar or punctuation it is made so professionally that im still incredibly impressed ! i was wondering, at the full release of the game, how much will it cost, and is there any way for me to get an alert when it is released ? :)
Thank you! Thank all of you for making this game. I absolutely love it! It’s awesome. Just awesome. I can hardly wait for the next update.
I ❤️ this game!
We're so glad you liked it!! Thanks for your comment! *^*
Beware, we don't know if the next update will come : we actually live on Kickstarter, and if the campaign fail the game will not been available in english orz.
Well, hopefully it'll still be available. I mean, I LOVE it so much! So if you guys only make it available in French. Then, I'll still continue playing it. I'll just have to use google translator. Since the only French person I know is this man who is dating a cousin I hardly know. So yeah... I'll just stick with google translator.
(The following text may include spoilers)
I’m really looking forward to this game! The demo was fun and interesting. After playing it several times, I’m still amazed at how professional it already is. Can’t believe the final game will have five routes and over 500.000 words! I think I’ve never played a VN with this length before. Most longer VN’s have about 100.000 words with all routes included. Here we have the same amount of words for 'each' route!
The characters, backgrounds, and cinematic graphics are simply amazing. I especially like the architecture of the capital. I am not an expert in this field, but the architectural style reminds me of a mix between the Gothic period with its pointed roofs and towers and the Baroque period with the round domes in between. Every aspect looks very detailed and atmospheric. You really feel like you’re part of the environment. This impression is reinforced by the fact that the game contains certain scenes in which the background camera moves. Those little moments give you the impression that Rave is really walking through the city or travelling through the forest as you read the text. The cold colors also go well with the rather cold, dark continent that the game takes place in. By the way, I like your idea of including the backgrounds in the gallery. In most VN’s you only have the CG’s contained. Since your backgrounds look very good, it was the right choice to add them.
I also like the music A LOT! The tunes are very memorable and beautiful and they fit perfectly to the historical fantasy setting. The tune that played when Rave travelled through the forest to leave his home town behind sounds very mystical and somewhat menacing. It reflects the emotions of the protagonist and his anxiety of the unknown very well. On the other hand, the melody that played during his arrival in the capital sounds more exciting and somewhat pompous - like the new big city that is so different from the little town which he came from. It’s like a whole new world, waiting to be explored. And the music reflects this aspect very well.
The characters are very interesting and different from each other. My favorite is Hyde at the moment. Of all the characters he seems to be most likable (although I suspect that he has another side of his personality that he just has not shown yet). But that’s what makes characters interesting, doesn’t it? It’s hard to say who the best character is, because everyone has such an eye-catching personality, even someone as unsympathetic as Renan, who I’m sure will turn out as a great romance option. My favorite scene in the demo was the conversation with Hyde in his room at night. He simply accepted Rave as his roommate without making fun of him or judging him. That was so pure and lovely. I hope for more intimate, emotional scenes like this.
I remember someone asked about the characters sexuality. My guess is Renan and Fenrir are bottoms, Ilyes and Kary are tops and Hyde is a switch. But I don’t know for certain. It’s just my gut feeling. lol
We don’t know much about the story yet, but it seems to get very interesting (and dark). I’m curious how being a student in the academy and the undead plague will work together in the further course on the game. I suspect that especially Ilyes and Fenrir will reveal a lot of background knowledge about the undead topic. Speaking of, I really love the idea of a journal in the game. It's good to have something to lookup, especially in games with a lot of background information, so you can always read about the world and its creatures/characters. I’m also glad the game has different scenes depending on your room mate choice instead of mini games. Mini games are often too easy in VN’s and don’t add anything interesting to the story. I'm curious how the scenes will differ depending on your room mate. It would be interesting to get him as your best friend (or rival), if he’s not your romance option. No matter what it is, I just hope we’ll have an interesting relationship with him too.
I don’t have much to criticize. Maybe two things:
1. The English translation still has a few errors (but those can be fixed easily).
2. The text size in the game is kinda small (except for the scenes with moving backgrounds. Those are fine). I understand that this will probably not change anymore. Nevertheless, I have to say that it is sometimes really exhausting for me to read the text, because I don’t have good eyesight.
But this is the only criticism I have.
I really - REALLY - hope this project gets funded. Please, everyone! When do we ever have the opportunity to play such a big and great yaoi game? I'm a bit worried because there’s not much progress at the moment, but fortunately there are still a few days left. So everything is still possible. Just out of curiosity: What will happen if the project doesn't get funded? I hope it will still be published. This could be one of the best VN's in the next years. I wish the developers all the best and hope for a great end result.
Please keep up your good work! : )
Thanks for the long constructive comment! We're glad you liked the demo so much! We hope it'll be the same for the whole game.
To answer your concerns, if the campaign fails, we'll have to delete the English translation (since it's the most expensive thing) and try another crowdfunding on a French site. The game would only be in French then. Though, we really hope we won't have to do so!
Thanks again for supporting us, and have a good day!
Then I have to learn French. ^^" I hope it won't be necessary though. I had it in school, but forgot most of it again. It would be a pity if the vast majority of players don't get the chance to play this great game. Let's hope for the best!
In the worst case, perhaps it would be possible to first publish the game in French and then wait and see how it sells. If it sells well, maybe there is still the possibility of an English translation one day?
Will the game ever be on android?
Also i love the demo and can't wait for the full game!
Hi! The port to android is not planned for now.
We are really happy you liked the demo! We are also eager to show more about our game!
If someday you want the game translated into Spanish I offer my services. (English to Spanish)
Really excited to see what's to come in the full game after such an dazzling demo! Thanks for sharing:)
I don't know if I can wait until 2020. That seems like years from now and I'm sad about it. The art is simply stunning and the story is already amazing. I really wish I could continue reading it.
Thank you very much for your comment! We're really happy you enjoyed the game!
It is a bit far from now, but in reality it is quite short! We hope you will stay with us by then!
I would be willing to help translate, even for free! I'm also French, but as I've been nurtured in a bi-cultural environment thanks to my school and being raised solely by American au pair girls and the likes, I've grown to be completely bilingual, equally and highly comfortable in both. Your demo swept me off my feet, and I would love to contribute if need may be!
Hi Rui! Thank you very much for your proposal, it is very kind of you! But since there are a lot of words to translate, and the with the translating time the translator will have, we prefer to hire a professional to do the work!
Beautiful art, interesting story and characters.
I look forward to the full release. c:
I am incredibly interested in seeing how this develops. I find the world fascinating, and I cannot wait to see more!
There's several game's i'm keeping track of right now, and I have to say within the list this game is the one which contains the most potential. Starting from the beautiful art - can I just say that Renan is freaking adorable, hyde too), to the detailed background and how the characters were fleshed out.
Honestly at first, I downloaded this game on a whim since I was trying to make my friend play bl with me but I never expected to get so fixated and addicted on a game. This game (well the demo) is a freaking masterpiece, nearly perfect if not for the few grammar mistakes. I mean, heck I wouldn't mind paying if you ever start a kickstarter page or patreon, haha.
Anyways, this is such a good game with tone of potential, and I just want to thank you guys for creating such a game (like really). I'll be waiting so don't go dropping of the project haha.
Thank you very much for your kind compliments and taking your time writing a review, we're really happy you enjoyed the demo.
Our Kickstarter is planned for soon, please stay tuned!
And we will do our best finishing the game if the KS is funded!
Just finished the demo and god, I spent a solid 5 minutes debating which choice to go with for that last question I was almost let out a screech when it turned out to be the demo's end, haha.
The atmosphere, worldbuilding, writing, and the art in this game are incredible. I typically keep games (especially VNs) on mute, but the music in this one was really nice!! I also loved the nice touch of having a tutorial at the beginning. I've played VNs made in Ren'py for almost a decade and none of them really made use of the features they could've introduced to new players.
I'm looking forward to the kickstarter! Just one question though - are there any plans on having a permanent version of the journal in the extras? It's a nice feature, but I'm afraid I tend to get too focused on the narrative to pay attention to anything else, so I'll probably end up forgetting to check it while playing. Also, will a walkthrough be provided?
Oh, and I forgot to mention that Ilyes is my favorite :^) I'm assuming he's one of the bonus routes, so I'll be very patient until they come out <3
Hi aphrodisia! Thank you very much for your very kind review! We are very glad you liked the demo and Ilyes!
It's still not planned, but we will think of it, thank you for your suggestions!
Ahaha, I get what you mean, the same thing happened to me too, like what should I do? It sounds really important,s hould I just og for the shota since he's my roomate or should I keep balance? And when I finally came to an option feeling really excited as I read through the dialogues... This is the end of the demo T-T
Aaaargh, I'm really curious about the plotline too, it has such a great story.
I'm almost disappointed I finished it so fast, Renan's my favourite probably easy to guess from my profile picture.
Will there be any continued updates within the kick-starter or a patron or is it a straight wait until release?
Also will there be voice acting in the finished game?
Hi! We're really happy you enjoyed the demo and liked our Renan!
Yes, there will be update logs within the Kickstarter and hopefully Patreon! About voice acting, we have no plans about it for now.
Hello! I really love the game so far but I have a question about the cost of the full game. Will it be free or does it cost money?
Very good game, almost all games I tried before that used a fantasy world scenario had very simple concepts of magic, like "I focus and bam, fire appear". But yours has a lot of explanation for magic, like (Spoiler?)
How every mage born with elemental magic but can peform a ritual to sacrifice their elemental magic and get a new one. And Rave's background, unlike other game where MC is also born a farmer, they somehow read very well and can even read hardest book. But Rave was illiterate and have just learned how to read recently, which is realistic for a character born in a farmer family in that time setting(and he is also likeable, A LOT).
Also, the art is very beautiful. A lot of games wasted their good potential because of the poor art. But yours has tons of good sprite,CGs and character's expression.
Keep up the good work :) I hope your Kickstarter will go well
Hi Punnn! Thank you very much for your kind comment!
We are happy you liked the game this much!
I need some help I've downloaded the game, but it won't let me play it saying things like it can't be executed plus when I open the file so it can open it says its dangerous and if I want to follow through I follow through and it keeps on saying error
Hi! Thank you for your comment.
The problem may be caused by your antivirus software, it may have a false-positive on the game (it is happing quite often with new games). Have you tried to put the game in exception? And if it is the case, have you moved the quarantine file back in the game's folder?
Hoping it will fix your issues!
I just finished the demo...
And I have to say...
I LOVED IT!
I have played several VN and I can say that this is very, very well done.
I love how detailed everything is, both the sprites, and the world, the personality of the characters, their choices (They have a different sprite for each election), the way the character face changes expression according to what it talks about, a diary where you accumulate the knowledge of the MC, and that it varies according to the route taken...
The art is wonderful, it looks like a professional game.
And the story is interesting, it captures the dynamics of the relationships of the characters, and makes you want to know them better, and see what kind of relationship they will have with the MC.
Not to mention that the same MC is interesting, I want to know everything about him.
(By the way, my favorite character for now is Hyde, I'll play his route first)
My verdict: It's worth paying a lot of money for your game.
When your kickstarted comes out, I will support you, and I will definitely buy the game.
Good luck to be founded!
Thank you very much! We are really happy you liked the game and the MC! We're deeply attached to our MC so it really pleases us.
The Kickstarter will be up soon, please stay tuned :)
The translation is a little rough, but this was deeply enjoyable and the graphic work and music is great!
Thank you very much! We're happy you liked the game! The translation has been proofreaded so we will update it when it is ready!
J'ai joué à cette démo après qu'elle m'ait été recommandée par une amie et ça m'a l'air très prometteur ! Les dessins sont vraiment beaux, ainsi que le menu et l'interface particulièrement léchés !
Les characters designs me rappellent pas mal ceux de Fate/Grand Order, particulièrement Cú Chulainn Alter en regardant Kary :) Que ça soit intentionnel ou non, je ne sais pas ^^
Je n'ai pas testé la version française mais la version anglaise (par habitude). Quelques tournures de phrase assez maladroites ou trop simples également, ce qui est dommage pour un texte de fantasy... Quelques exemples tout bêtes du début:
|Do you like to go throught the tutorial? (Advisable for a first game)||Would you like to go through the tutorial? (Advisable for first-time players)|
|I was going to apologize to her in the first letter I would sent her.||I would apologize/I'd make sure to apologize as soon as I would send her my first letter.|
|It was weird having someone so close to me in the narrow space of the cart, and still feel alone.||It was a strange experience to have someone sit so close to me in the narrow space of the cart, yet to feel so lonely.|
|Yes a little... Is everything alright? Why did we stop?||Yes, a little... Is everything alright? Why did we stop?|
|I shivered of disgust, and had to put my hand in front of my mouth so I wouldn't puke.||I shivered with disgust at this sight as I my hand flew to my mouth so I wouldn't puke.|
De manière plus générale, à part les fautes d'anglais, je recommanderais d'aérer votre texte avec des virgules, de le rythmer plus grâce à la ponctuation afin de le rendre plus fluide, plus agréable à lire, comme une chanson en quelque sorte.
Vos mots racontent votre histoire, racontent l'expérience de vos personnages et comment ils évoluent dans votre univers, faites-nous rêver ! ^^ Enrichissez votre vocabulaire et vos expressions ! ^^ Surtout, encore une fois, dans un jeu de style fantasy comme Valentyne, qui me rappelle personellement la série de visual novels fault. La qualité d'écriture (sur tous les plans! style, orthographe, rythme) peut vraiment influencer le jeu lui-même et l'impression que ses lecteurs.trices en ont, sans parler de l'immersion dans l'histoire.
Je vous souhaite bonne chance pour la suite, j'ai hâte de jouer au jeu complet !!
Une autre question, penseriez-vous pouvoir sortir le jeu sur Steam ? :D Si c'était possible, ça serait super...!!
Merci pour ces conseils ! Comme dit dans la description la traduction à été faite par une non native pour le moment. Le coût d'une traduction de professionnel sera incluse dans le kickstarter.
Oui, le jeu sera disponible sur steam !
Merci d'avoir joué !
The demo was fantastic as expected! There were a few gramatical mistakes in the english version that i played but its not really a big deal, another round of proof reading should take care of them! They didnt make the gameplay less enjoyable either! Though my fav character still is Llyes, out of the main 3 i found Renan the most fun, suprisingly! The dynamic between him n Rave is honestly so much fun not to mention their exchanges are hilarious! And whenever Renan brings that AttitudeTM it always reminds me of a little kitty trying to look all dangerous which makes him look even cuter!!! Ahhhh i cant wait to play his full route n the rest of the game! The story is great n the plot is immersive! Good work guys!!!
Thank you very much! We're really pleased to see that you like our little runt! We hope you'll enjoy the full game as well!
I'm not sure if anyone else has asked, and if they have I'm sorry but, Are you planning to release the game on steam once it's out for the public?
I have a few questions such as the cost of the game and the r-18 content and the future 2 routes being free or paid downloadable content
Hi! About its cost, it would be around 30-40€. And the R-18 content & both routes will be available as free updates!
Oh awesome! I've seen some games where the protag switches depending on who's route you're on or you can choose, will either of those be in this game or is the protagonist set as one role when r18 things happens? (loved the demo, im torn between Hyde and Karyl)
All we can say is that, Rave included, the game will contain two Neko, two Tachi and two Teko! We're glad you liked Kary and Hyde! Thanks for playing!
Great thanks! -silently prays for Hyde to be a neko- The demo was fun and I love the attention to detail, like when you use wind magic the guard never gets his helmet back-- Great touch! I can't wait for the full release!
Bonjour,ayant fini la démo hier,je viens donner mon avis à chaud alors je m'excuse d'avance pour mon manque d'objectivité.
Pour être tout à fait honnête,je ne m'attendais pas à grand chose en téléchargeant la démo et vraiment quelle erreur!
Commençons d'abord par la forme,le jeu est magnifique! Les fonds sont très jolis et détaillés pour ceux qu'on a vu et j'ai hâte de découvrir les autres! Les illustrations sont très bien faites également.J'avoue ne pas vraiment m'y connaitre en dessin mais je trouve que les profondeurs,proportions et même le jeu des couleurs sont superbement bien faits! Et mine de rien cela joue dans l'immersion. En parlant d'immersion,l'ambiance auditive est très intéressante,les thèmes sont plutôt variés (le thème principal est très sympa) et les bruitages bien pensés (même s'il arrive que certains bruitages surviennent un peu "trop tôt" par rapport au déroulement du texte je trouve).
Quant aux designs des personnages,j'aime beaucoup! Le style est très épuré et bon sang merci pour cette diversité! Ca peut paraitre stupide mais le fait que chaque personnage ait réellement son identité visuelle,qu'il se démarque,le rende plus tangible et ça c'est toujours un plaisir.
Passons maintenant au fond.En soit,l'histoire n'est pas si originale que cela (pour l'instant mais je vous fais confiance pour la suite ;) ) mais elle est très efficace et est contée de manière tellement cohérente et détaillée que cela rend l'univers vraiment tangible et ça c'est super. La démo était très dynamique,on voit pas mal de lieux et de personnages et cela permet de maintenir un intérêt qui ne décroit pas avec le temps. Chaque scène a un ton différent et ça c'est plutôt sympa mes scènes préférées étant l'attaque des morts-qui-marchent devant la porte ainsi que le premier cours en extérieur.La première était bien écrite,on sentait le danger et l'horreur du point de vue de notre cher protagoniste.
En parlant de notre très cher Rave eh bien autant vous dire que j'avais un peu peur que vous tombiez dans la facilité avec ce personnage. En effet,dans les otomes/visual novels c'est très rare que le/la personnage principal(e) soit intéressant et qu'on puisse se reconnaitre dans ses dires.Or,vous avez fait du très bon travail avec Rave! Les petites anecdotes sur ses parents par exemple,c'est bête mais ça donne un vrai background au personnage (alors hésitez pas de ce côté là , on se sent plus proche de lui) et ses interactions avec les 5 autres personnages sont justes super (et l'humour fonctionne très bien surtout avec Renan).
Pour ce qui est des autres personnages,j'ai vraiment hâte d'en découvrir plus sur eux (j'avoue avoir déjà craqué sur notre petit nabot préféré <3 ah je suis une gaga de ce genre de personnage que voulez-vous) ils sont tous hauts en couleur et leur interactions entre eux sont géniales (surtout pendant le cour). J'espère juste que le fait de choisir une route ne nous prive pas d'interactions avec les autres garçons ça serait plutôt dommage.
Seuls petits bémols que j'ai trouvés (mais cela relève du chipotage):
-Peut-être ajouter quelques choix même si vous en avez déjà mis pas mal,en ajouter,même pour des détails pas trop important,nous implique plus dans l'histoire!
-Pas mal de phrases de la première partie sont très longues ce qui peut "perdre" rapidement le joueur,peut-être que rajouter des virgules et des points rendraient le tout plus agréable à la lecture (même si je trouve que c'est déjà très bien écrit)
-L'utilisation du passé simple dans certaines pensées de Rave sonne un peu étranges je trouve
Bon,vous l'aurez remarqué c'était une critique très positive et pas vraiment constructive j'aurais voulu vous aiguiller un plus que ça haha .
En tout cas,me voilà charmée par ce jeu et comptez sur moi pour vous offrir tout le soutien que vous méritez et pour participer à la campagne de financement!
Bonjour ! Merci beaucoup pour ton retour complet, ça fait extrêmement plaisir et nous aide énormément ! Nous sommes très heureuses que tu aie eu une bonne surprise en jouant à la démo. En tout cas merci beaucoup encore une fois pour ton soutien, et surtout de penser à nous financer!
~ With respect to your "Tell us everything" post on Twitter ~
The demo is lovely and promising on all aspects (story, music, art...).
I truly liked the first part of the story. So much that I wish the demo were longer. It is engaging and it does not take too much time to actually embody Rave and to see the world through his eyes and/or senses.
I liked everything in the demo equally. The slow-paced introduction mirrors in my opinion the journey of Rave : the journey of a farm boy gradually leaving his own world to enter a world he truly is ignorant of. Besides, that slowness helps immerge ourselves in the story. The more quick-paced days at school were really good as well.
I had some issues at first with Rave, but I will explain why afterwards. After playing the demo, I find Rave true, relatable, down to earth. May I say "simple-minded"at times in a very affectionate and loving way? I really like him. He could be a character from a very good novel.
So now, why did I first have some issues with Rave? Let me say at that stage that it was rather minor ; it did not prevent me from enjoying the demo. That being said, there are actually two cumulative reasons with regard to the French version of the demo. I do not know if they apply for the English one. On the one hand, there is a discordance between how Rave talks (dialogues) and how he thinks (narrative sections). In a nutshell, Rave talks as a farm boy sometimes trying to speak better to suit the place. That definitely works for me. But he (sometimes) thinks as a very educated person (passé simple + termes plutôt relevés par-ci, par-là...), and we have to get accustomed to the contrast. Overall, I think, as a French, that the contrast is a very nice idea (because of the very nature of "la langue de Molière"), but the contrast may need to be a bit more consistent.
D'autre part, toujours concernant la version française de la démo, la lecture était parfois compliquée. Au demeurant, surtout dans l'introduction, car les phrases étaient trop longues et/ou trop pauvres en virgules. Par principe, une phrase ne doit pas dépasser les 20-30 mots ; la virgule sépare bien volontiers les compléments accessoires (temps, moyens, adjectifs supplémentaires...) de la phrase principale (sujet + verbe + COD/COI). Petite note également, car la faute était plutôt récurrente : notre/votre ; le nôtre/le vôtre. Ex. C'est notre continent / C'est le nôtre.
Bien entendu, je ne fais pas ces remarques dans un sens destructeur, mais purement constructif et mélioratif, et ce, d'autant plus que je trouve votre plume rafraîchissante et vos personnages bien écrits.
With all of that being said, I sincerely do thank you for this demo and I am looking forward to your Kickstarter ;)
HI Celeste! First of all, we are really happy you liked the demo, even if you saw some mistakes in it. Thank you for your complete review, it is much appreciated and it really help us making the game great! We will keep all you said in mind.
And thank you considering backing us on the Kickstarter, we're really happy to have your support!
Merci beaucoup !
I was looking forward to the release of the demo and I was not disappointed! It is wonderful. I was in doubt which character was my favorite before playing, but now I know. It's the protagonist! I've already fallen in love with Rave, he's an authentic person, which I love. I also loved the three initial love interests, so much so that I was in doubt which way I'm going to play first. As for the other two, I need more information first.
Sceneries and songs complement each other very well, I liked both.
I look forward to it! Congratulations for the beautiful demo.
Thank you very much Carlane! We're really happy to have feedback on the game demo and also, very pleased to see you liked the protagonist so much! Hoping you will find who you'd want to play first ;)
I'd like to offer my services for proofreading/editing. I am a native English speaker and professional editor, and I have worked on a number of other VNs such as Meyaoi's Seiyuu Danshi and Ertal's games (all except the first one).